Cases of Food
Recently, I ate a 4-ounce bag of Skittles in under 5 minutes without even realizing.
Recently, I had a dream that involved calling Lady Gaga and appearing with her in concert; being chased by a lion; and having extremely crooked teeth.
Recently, I've appeared multiple times in Laura's dream wearing shoes made of meat.
Recently, I wrote the following comment card at a store:
Bulk candy is $0.50 an ounce. This doesn't even make sense. The point of bulk is that it's cheaper. I got less than a handful of Jelly Bellies and it was almost $2.50. UNBELIEVABLE!* That's almost the biggest rip off of my life.
Thanks for listening.
And got the response:
And that's it.
*I actually just wrote UNBELIEVE!
Recently, I replaced "JINX! You owe me a pop!" for "JINX! You owe me a BJ!"
Recently, I've lost my funny. Sorry everyone.