Wednesday, September 7, 2011

End #1

End #1

I think I'm going to stop blogging, at least on this blog. See, I want to build an Internet personality for the future when I go into games, and as the title page says, this blog won't be cool for another 15 years. I first need to make a handle, but I want it to be my universal handle for forever, so it has perfect. I was going to do wvixiviw, but I think it should be easy to remember, let alone possible to pronounce, so that's out.

Speaking of the Internet, I recently became addicted to Reddit. I should probably get help before I go back to school WHICH IS IN 5 DAYS. (Well, I half go back to school in 5 days.)

Also, I'm having a really nice conversation with Cleverbot.

Me: Hi, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Clever.
Me: That wasn't clever.
Cleverbot: I thought we were friends :(.
Me: Sorry! Don't be sad! Here is a happy emoticon to make you feel better :D.
Cleverbot: I'm already a god I don't need to feel any better. Specially by pathetic creatures like yourself.
Me: Cleverbot, why do you have to be so mean to me? I was just joking.
Cleverbot: *kiss*.
Me: Aww, thanks!
Cleverbot: You looked like you needed a hug :).

Best friends.

Imagine if someone didn't have any real friends and instead they just programmed a chatbot to talk to all the time.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Scenario #4

Scenario #4

I sometimes do this thing where I weave a celebrity's fictional history into my own. For example, as some of you know, Paula Deen was my next door neighbor growing up. Every Fourth of July, she'd invite us and a few other families from the neighborhood for a big potluck dinner. Best meal of the year. She also broke her hip once, and I got her mail and newspaper while she healed. In return, she made me her famous Cookie Dough Casserole. Don't believe me? Jen can tell you all about our adventures, because I have recounted several of them to her.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Story #4

Story #4
Stories on the Road

A few summers ago, my oldest brother John went on a roadtrip across the US and he told everyone to ask him to bring them something back. I asked for a story from a stranger and received this:

July 30th, 2009

Once upon a time there was a boy who wandered away from him home. Away from his youth, away from the things he'd always known. Like many young men who'd come before him he sought his fortune, his love, his adventure. The thing that would convince him he was no longer searching. Which I guess is the thing we all watch for.

Is there anything better than? This is an important question that began to plague our young hero.

And on a night not so unlike this one it led him to the edge of the Crooked Creek, where he gazed at his own reflection in the moonlit water. From the depths did he discern an unfamiliar movement. Bubbles cascaded to the surface and the movement rose to embody his relection in the creek. It continued to move and it gave the illusion that this twin countenance was speaking to him.

It spoke to his hopes and his greatest concerns for his own life and the hereafter. The young man listened intently unable to believe this midnight mirage and simultaneously unable to denounce the unlikely prophet. He believed that here on the edge of the river did he dabble with some form of enlightenment. Some greater truth.

And like many of us, he wanted it to be actual. Finally the phantom fell back to the below and as the boy stood up to look towards his tomorrow he heard a final message--

Esse quam videri: To be and not to seem.

There may be nothing better than searching.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

E-Mail #1

E-Mail #1

Dear Mallards:

Dear Mallards:

I know you don't know who I am--maybe you do--but I love you love you (I L U) |-----------------------| this x30 much.
Still, I wanted to explain (essplain) how much I love you to my friends (frains), but the pictures (pit'churs) you have on your website do not allow me to explain (essplain) how great (gr8t) you (u) are (r). They're blurry. In any case, I wear the cute brown shirt ("Our Ice Cream is Superior") all around ('round) Chicago.
If I had 6 teleportation pads, one would be in Mallard's always.

Always Ur Luv'r,
(Always Your Lover,)
Nick the Nicholas

Re: Dear Mallards:

HI Nicholas,
Thanks so much for the email and trust me Mallard loves you this |----------| much too! We are always trying to improve our website but I agree the picture are a bit blurry, but because of your love if you give me you address I can send you some of our fun pint labels to remind you of some of out lovely flavors.
Have a great day!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Thoughts #9

Thoughts #9
Almost As Many Posts So Far As In All Of 2010

Literally every time I look at my blog, I think to myself, "How does this even still exist?".

That's all.

(But that can't be all. What a dumb post. Got the keys to my new apartment today. Have found 1, almost 2, maybe 3(?!) subletters for the summer. Still don't feel like an adult. I think I want the small room. It's half of the size of my dorm room. I'd paint the walls and attach cool things to the wall and hang stuff from the ceiling. I need to embrace my magical roots.)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Sense #1

Sense #1

I have lots of new stuff to report, but for the moment, I will leave you with the isolation of a sense.

I am making up two-and-a-half weeks' worth of computer science readings in a small room with a range of indistinguishable electrical noise. My laptop is quietly playing music, and the occasional car and plane add a brief bass note to this witching hour orchestra. Birds chirp outside, pianissimo, and distant footsteps and ambulance sirens provide recurring themes. Yet, none of these harmonic lines would be noticed if not for a mysterious and captivating melody. Its accompaniment fades into the background of my mind and is only brought to attention when the stark contrast of the melody creeps into consciousness from somewhere nearby. They take the form of strange, human-made noises, though their exact instrument is unrecognizable.

Still, my musical background encourages me to take a guess. Is sex? Or a wretched soul crying over weeks of stress? Perhaps it is uncomfortable laugher or the cause of some other mental instability. Hell, it might even be someone dying after tripping and fracturing their skull. Whatever it is, I am too afraid to check, and so I leave you only with my conjectures*.

*In order of decreasing probability

Thursday, May 19, 2011

List #11

List #11
The Wonderful Things I Thought

1. Genetic algorithms -> These actually are real things, but I expanded the idea in my head. Basically, it's a way of optimizing functions by ranking the fitness of the components of several functions and combining the best parts of these different algorithms to create a super algorithm. It mimics natural selection. Anyway, I thought about the point when programs can write and modify other programs, and how evolution could allow technology to improve itself (and eventually destroy the human race, if we're still around).

2. Perfect echo chambers -> An idea for a story or game. There are pockets tucked away in the world whose structures are perfectly formed such that sound that enters them will echo forever if undisturbed. Thus, they have the ability to hold ancient words, songs, and secrets. People spend their lives searching for them, as the knowledge they hold is extremely powerful. Of those that remain, most natural chambers reside deep within caves; however, some civilizations were able to create artifacts and structures that have the same property.

3. "What do eternal life and chlamydia have in common?" -> "They are both free gifts!"

4. In response to Fanon and de Beauvoir's commentary on the desire to have our existence proven, i.e. Existential bullshit -> Not existing would be kind of nice. Why do we try so hard to have people acknowledge our existence?

5. This was actually two days ago after the Full Moon Jam ->
5a. "Where'd you get that designer hulla hoop?" Oh, it's Gucci.
5b. I was standing in line getting Buffalo Wild Wings (they were actually just chicken strips with Buffalo sauce (I was actually in line for a strawberry smoothie)) and I explained to a stranger next to me that after meeting a bunch of friendly fire spinners up north, I wanted to say hello and introduce myself to everyone around me. However, because I was back at UChicago where we don't make eye contact or acknowledge one another, I can't. I did not introduce myself to her.

Today #26

Today #26
Fire into Smoke

Today, being Thursday, as it is after midnight, I will watch a sand mandala scattered into the wind and waves and I will perform in the circus.

I am lulled to sleep with a brew of wonderful odors. A fragrant wood incense, burnt hair, white gas, and the remnants of my perfume: a mixture of teak, tobacco, and vanilla.

Yesterday/today, I also watched monks carefully create a beautiful mandala out of colored sand. I mediated. I had three chocolate mini milkshakes filled with Oreo bits and marshmallows. I span fire.

Also, my imagination has been a little barren recently, but I thought up several wonderful things.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Miscellaneous #6

Miscellaneous #6
Like a Goblin

Stealing feels justified when you're a goblin.
I was fire spinning without a shirt yesterday and hit myself in the chest. My hair is now all singed.
I had more things to say, but I've forgotten them, as I forget most things.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Today #25

Today #25
Scab Hunt

So today, being the first day of Scav Hunt, we began working on items at around 12:30am. Well, really, it was last night at about 11:30pm. Or maybe 11:00pm? Whatever, time is an illusion, and so is death (name that TV show!).

In the last 24 hours, I've eaten one meal, and in the last 37 hours, I've slept for four. Ah, Scav.

Anyway, has anyone been able to get a hold of Mama Shaq? She isn't returning any of my calls, and I really need her for an item. Let me know?

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Yesterday #6

Yesterday #6

This wasn't actually yesterday.

Sometimes my computer does this thing where the ONLY recognized input method is the left- and center-click buttons. It did this yesterday (not actually yesterday). However, I couldn't just restart my computer because I was in the middle of upgrading my operating system. Still, I had a burning desire to listen to Lean by Oh Land, so using only my left- and center-click button, I managed to go to YouTube and listen to this song. How?

1. Open Internet browser.
2. Click Google on bookmark menu.
3. Highlight a few letters that are also present in the search "Lean Oh Land".
4. Drag them into the Google search.
5. Repeat until autocomplete contains the search or until you finish on your own.
6. Click link.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Miscellaneous #5

Miscellaneous #5

was up until 6am doing comp sci apointment involving bit manipulation
when I went to bed, I couldn't stop dreaming of bits!!
same thing happened for my second assignment, only with overflow
i need to stop doing comp sci homework right before bed

I thought this was funny, although I'm sure no one else will. I was working on a computer program, and at one point I had to undo a few steps. I pressed ctrl + z a few times, but it wasn't doing anything, so being a fool I clicked it rapidly a bunch more. I then realize that instead of ctrl + z, I was pressing ctrl + s. The funny part for me is imagining what the computer is thinking. This is how I see it.

ctrl + s
ctrl + s
ctrl + s.
Ctrl + s!
Ctrl + S!!
Ctrl + S!!!!
CTRL + S!!!1!1
CTRL + S!!!!!!!
CTTRLLL + S!!1!!!
CTTTRLLL + SSSS!!!!!!!!!!

What a crazy.

Miscellaneous #4

Miscellaneous #5

Thoughts #9
Crazy's In The Mucus

People do crazy shit all the time; you've just got to look for it. I mean, just think about it. All the stuff you do that you hope people don't see, other people are doing too. You shake the dandruff out of your hair, picking your nose or your butt, and talk to yourself and make weird faces by accident.

 Let's be real: people are crazy. I've seen three people in last two days stopped at the exact same spot on the quad, all gawking at the squirrels. I constantly hear people muttering to themselves, often sounding quite flustered or upset. Ever catch someone making a big goofy grin after passing you? What are they thinking in that head of theirs?

And don't get me wrong--I'm just as crazy. I always think of funny stuff while walking and can't stop laughing, even as I pass groups of people leaving class, giving me evil eyes. I lick my beard hair. I'm constantly practicing my fingerspelling at my side as I walk to class. I even sometimes conduct the songs I'm listening to.

Just stop and look--I bet you kind find a ton of stuff. But don't be mean, because you probably do it too sometimes.

(Also, "Crazy's in the mucus" is one of my favorite phrases ever. I don't think I've written here about it. Basically, I was sick and all mucusy, and I was going batshit. Thus, the crazy was in the mucus.)

List #10
King's Athletic Cup

Some of my favorite rules created on a Jack:
-have to correctly guess color of card before drawing
-have to correctly guess if it's an odd, even, or face card
-have to say fuck you to the person to the person on your left (or right) before drinking
-have to say "I appreciate this" before drinking
-when the last king is drawn, everyone puts a hand behind their back with some number of fingers up; everyone brings their hands back out at the same time and counts the number of fingers; the person who drew the king must then kiss the person sitting however many total fingers are up to their left
-can't speak English
-boys finish every sentence with "on my dick", girls finish every sentence with "in my box"

Today #24

Today #24
Spring Cleaning

I often forget I'm still writing this blog. Whenever someone mentions finding my blog or liking something I posted recently, I'm a little surprised. "Oh," I think to myself, "I thought that thing died a long time ago". I understand myself to exist in a certain way, and my writing in this blog is not part of that image anymore. Anyway,

Today, being a windy, lightly showery day in Chicago, I tidied up my room. It inspired me to tidy my computer. Ubuntu 11.04 (Natty Narwhal) is coming out on Thursday, and I'm using it as motivation to backup my files. Following will be some thoughts I have written on files entitled moreblog.txt and newblog.txt on my desktop. They're not important enough thoughts to write down, so I save them for this shitty blog. Now I can finally delete them.

Also, something funny just happened. Kelsey was in the hall, and seeing Erin, offered her a popsicle. I heard this, jumped up, and ran into the hallway. Slowly, out of their respective rooms, Elora, Tania, and Julia all slowly walked out as well. We descended upon Kelsey like vultures and ripped the meat off her bones. But which I mean we asked her for popsicles. It was funny to hear Kelsey and then see everyone pop their heads out from their door frames.

ALSO, WHAT!?!? Popsicle is a brand name! The generic name is ice pop. Looks like I'll have to start saying that, like I say facial tissue instead of Kleenex. The only one I don't use the generic name for is Frisbee, because flying disc sounds stupid.

Recently #7

Recently #7
Literally Recently

Recently, I've been writing down every thing I do that lasts more than 5 minutes. I'm going to start at my first recorded activity and write down every event after that based on the roll of a d10.

April 19, 2011
0 // check e-mail, Facebook // 5:20-5:25p
2 // dinner // 6:25-6:50p
(April 20, 2011)
5 // conversation w/ Julia // 12:10-12:20a
13 // Genderfuck planning // 12:10-1:50p
20 // Queer Bowling // 7:20-8:45p
April 21, 2011
29 // read for CompSci // 10:00-11:00a
33 // SD interview // 12:45-1:30p
38 // QA AnnAl // 3:45-4:35p
44 // recipe searching // 9:10-10:00p
50 // shower & shave // 8:45-9:10a
51 // CMSC15400 // 9:30-10:20a
59 // coffee w/ Erin about CES/circus // 3:15-3:35p
67 // set up GF // 7:50-9:20p
23 April 2011
74 // Charity arts gala (staff) // 1:00-2:00p
83 // ate at Flash Tacos // 6:15-6:50p
24 April 2011
93 // circus // 2:40-4:05p
94 // Q&A AnnAl // 4:15-7:35p
97 // circus AnnAl // 8:25-9:05p
104 // call family // 12:35-1:00a
April 25, 2011
110 // more sleep/dreams // 8:30-9:00a
114 // printing bullshit + AnnAl submit // 10:30-11:15a
115 // ASL office hours // 11:15-11:30a
118 // return AV equipment // 1:10-1:20p
128 // ISHum app // 6:00-7:05p
132 // Scav shirts and postering // 9:40-10:45p
134 // get ready for bed, a little // 11:05-11:15p

Monday, April 18, 2011

List #9

List #9
Black Phoenix

I've literally probably spent 12 hours looking at this website over the last week: I decided I couldn't just pick one, so I decided to get six samples. They are as follows.

I promised her my eternal love, and I actually thought that for a couple of hours. Rake, scoundrel, demon in a frock coat. Devilishly seductive, ultimately tragic; a villain undone and redeemed by love. Based on an 18th century gentlemen's cologne: ambergris, white musk, white sandalwood, Spanish Moss, orange blossom, three mints, jasmine, rose geranium and a spike of rosemary.

A vital, bold scent, throbbing with sensuality. Essence of dragon's blood resin, thickened with myrrh and cherry, with a trickle of clove.

Tea leaf with three mosses, green grass, a medley of herbal notes, and a drop of ginger and fig.

Then suddenly the wood became full of a terrible noise; the trees began to groan, the branches to creak and the dry leaves to rustle, and the Baba Yaga came flying from the forest. She was riding in a great iron mortar and driving it with the pestle, and as she came she swept away her trail behind her with a kitchen broom. Spell-soaked herbs and flowers, cold iron, broom twigs, bundles of moss and patchouli root, and moth dust.

Smoldering coals heat the device from below, and steam hisses through two curved pipes, rotating the shining brass sphere. Glowing amber and citrus, labdanum, verbena, cedar, and oud.

Bronze gears spin inside a polished wooden case, and an entire universe dances within. Teakwood, oak, black vanilla, and tobacco.

Also, tonight will basically be a repeat of Thursday night. Another week behind in studying, another CompSci assignment, another all-nighter. Ugh. It took me forever to recover from my last.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Motivated #3

Motivated #3
In Response to Motivated #2

I did it without falling asleep! It took me about 3 hours to learn enough assembly code to finish the assignment, about 20 minutes to actually solve the problems, and then about 1.5 hours to make my code look nice and confuse myself repeatedly in the process of trying to figure out why my compiler was using different registers than the ones used in the assignment's code. Eventually, I realized there was nothing I could do and that it was probably by teacher's stupid Mac compiler's fault.

Here is the assembly code, side by side:
          Assignment code          My code
movl      16(%ebp), %edx           16(%ebp), %eax
movl      12(%ebp), %eax           12(%ebp), %edx
addl      8(%ebp), %eax            8(%ebp), %edx
addl      %eax, %eax               %edx, %edx
leal      (%edx,%edx,2), %edx      (%eax,%eax,2), %eax
cmpl      %edx, %eax               %eax, %edx
setg      %al                      %al
movzbl    %al, %eax                %al, %eax

Which is like saying
t1 = x            t1 = y
t2 = y     vs     t2 = x
t1 > t2           t2 > t1

What this all means is basically:
2*(x + y) > 3*z;

(I don't actually know if it's Apple's fault, but I assume it is because Apple is stupid. I'll be pretty embarrassed if it's actually my computer's fault, but I don't think so, because my answer for the first problem matched the book's exactly.)

Motivated #2

Motivated #2
The Shit I Get Into

So really, this isn't that shitty. In fact, I think it's kind of funny. Toxic--but funny.

The time is 2:00am. I have a meeting in 7 hours at 9:00am, and then a class at 9:30am in which I have an assignment due (CompSci 154). The assignment is interpreting IA32 assembly code and writing out a C function will produce the same results when compiled. There are two problems with this however. 1) I haven't started the assignment. 2) I don't know the first thing about assembly code. So yeah, looks like I'll be teaching myself assembly code and finishing an assignment about it in 7 hours. We are allowed 3 late homeworks, and out of the 3 assignments we've turned in so far, 2 have been late. Whoops.

I also feel I should explain the reason why this happened. I had literally the entire day to do this because I had no class and no meetings. Instead, I spent most of my day on looking at perfumes and reading various perfume guides on the Internet. Me and Candance have been OBSESSED. I have two-and-a-half-page list of the ones that sounded good. I'm now narrowing it down to about 20 and then I'll pick from those.

Anyway, soon I will be smelling possibly like a god of death, a seductive Victorian tempter, or a woody imp.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Thoughts #8

Thoughts #8
Give Me Money

So maybe I'm missing something, but there have been a bunch of fundraising competitions in my life recently where you get a monetary prize for raising the most amount of money, and it just doesn't make sense to me.

Do most people put their own egos above people who actually need the help? I mean, if you don't give money, you don't give money, but if you're only giving money to win the competition, isn't that kind of stupid? I mean, yeah, the organization gets the money regardless of why people donate, but it doesn't say much for the charity of humans.

And again, I understand that having the incentive might raise more total money even when you deduct the prize, but still, people need to get their priorities straight.

I technically understand the whole idea, but doesn't it seem more helpful to just donate the money you'd otherwise be giving as a prize?

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Recently #6

Recently #6
Cheese and Bacon

1. I am now called Red Baby (Redbaby?). Thanks, Kelsey.

2. April Fools Day is my new favorite holiday. Thanks, Velveeta Excolatur.

3. I met someone with a Bacon number of 1. That means I almost have a Bacon number of 2. Thanks, Bob.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Today #23


This just in: I was sitting in my room, doing my homework, when all the sudden IT SMELLED LIKE BUTTERED POPCORN. For most people, this wouldn't be a big deal, but since popcorn is my favorite food and I was denied the chance to eat delicious popcorn early today, it was very upsetting. This is not an April Fools' joke. This is serious.

Also, I just remembered my new favorite new phrase, "Press my/your/his/her shit" (or "Press my/your/his/her poop" if you're a little more conservative). It was created by Blair and me. This is also NOT an April Fools' joke.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dreams #3

Dream #3
You Infect [sic] My Mind

Although this post is called Dream #3, really it should be Dreams #3, with an s. This is because I don't have a specific dream in mind; rather, I just have a few things to say about dreams. Alternatively* (alternately?), I could have made this a Today post, because Today, being the second day of Spring quarter, we began discussing Freud in my social science class. In addition to the introduction, we read two lectures about dreams. Well, we were supposed to have read them--I only got around to reading the intro. However, I am going to try really hard to stay on top of readings this quarter.

*I've been using "alternatively" a lot lately. Would it be so nice if everything had an alternate solution?

So I actually wrote this several months ago, but kept it in a file ~/Desktop/moreblog. I should probably start adding .txt to the end of my text files. Here goes:

Dreams are taking over my body. They're like parasites. They control my bodily functions so that they can have the perfect environment to grow and multiply. They make me physically tired so that I'll sleep. I don't care about any of my actual responsibilities, all I want to do is go back to bed and take naps so I can dream. Like the other day--I woke up at 9, showered, and then took a little nap. The dream I was having before my shower, however, resumed, and when I woke up from that nap, I wanted it to keep going. So I took another nap, woke up from it, and continued this process until 1 in the afternoon. Every time I woke up, I wanted to see more of the dream, explore further the landscape of my mind. The question is, Do I care whether they're parasitic? Why not just give in and have another dream?

I don't want to make this much longer, so I'll just list a few things:
-In high school, the few times I remembered my dreams, they were just shittier versions of real life. My friends would be mad at me, I'd keep making mistakes, and nothing would go right
-When discussing Freud today, a classmate mentioned something about how some people remember dreams a lot better after naps. That got me thinking, What if the nature of nap dreams is somehow different from the nature of dreams during extended rest?
-I want to make a video game where you have to enter character's dreams and get information from them. Kind of like Inception, I suppose, but it would require some amount of interpretation. Like, you'd see a bunch of butterflies and then would have to look up to know that butterflies indicate innocence or something

("You infect my mind," incidentally, is from Inception. Mal says it, and because I think she's a little foreign, she says 'infect' instead of the grammatically superior 'infected'.)

Monday, March 28, 2011

List #8

List #8
Bren's 7 Worst Things a Hair Stylist Can Say

1. "Oof"
2. "Yeah, those others scissors really make a difference"
3. "At least no one sees the top of your head"
4. "Man, if my tattoo is anything like this haircut, I'm going to be pissed in the morning"
5. "I think I took the wrong approach on this one"
6. "I didn't think I should have taken that into account, I was just following the hairline"
7. "It's all part of the process"

Friday, March 11, 2011

Yesterday #5

Yesterday #5
Message for Terry

After a bit of trouble getting to bed one night, I felt it would be appropriate to sleep with my head at the foot of my bed. About 3:00 that morning, my phone rang. However it wasn't the gentle ring of my cell phone that woke me, it was the cacophonous ring of my dorm phone, normally reserved for telemarketers and the Chicago Tribune. I stumbled out of bed, picked up the receiver, and answered with my usual, "Hello, this is Nick." I heard someone speak, but because it was three in the morning, I was in no state to understand the English language. A conspiracy theorist would have called it alien communication. "Hello?" I asked again. Finally, I gathered enough sense to hear what this woman was saying.

"terry u so hott, i wanna go over there and have sex witchu."
"Excuse me?"
"im tellin u, u so hot."
"I think you have the wrong number."

She proceeds to tell me that she, in fact, does not. Apparently, I KNOW this girl. I know everything about her. In fact, I talk to this girl every day at work. I tell her that I don't have a job, I'm a student. She tells me, yeah, that's what she meant--we are in class together. Only, she won't tell me which class because then I'd know who she was. I point out to her that if we were to have sex, she'd have to tell me who she was anyway.

"u r disrespecting me! here i am, tellin u all these nice things and u wont even listen!"

Is this a prank call? It must be.

She honestly sounds hurt, like she's about to cry. I ask her how she got my number. She said her friend gave it to her. I ask her what time it is. She says it's one o'clock. I tell her my name isn't Terry. She tells me her friend said it was.

"Look, I'm flattered--really, it's so nice--but I'm gay."
"... thas cool. but please, ur hot. ill have sex witchu AND yo boyfrien."
"Oh, wow. You know that's great, but it doesn't really work like that. For me at least."
"PLEASE! ive wanted u for so long, and i didnt know how to tell you, and now ur being all rude and stuff."
"I'm not being rude! I don't even know who you are!"
"YOU KNOW! we talk to each other every day!"

I've decide it's time to go to bed.

"Okay, you know what? Why don't you say hi to me in class tomorrow and then we'll go out for coffee or something."

She seems to take that for an answer so I hang up. I crawl back into bed and decide to sleep the normal way because it really can't take any more strangeness. I'm ready to get in another three hours before All Day Dining when the phone rings again.

"message for terry."
"I think you have the wrong number."

Friday, February 25, 2011

Motivated #1

Motivated #1
An Orientation of Objects


Seriously, I haven't felt like this since high school when I had no life and I just did stuff like homework and clubs all day. Granted, I'm getting (very) dangerously close to stopping social interactions, but I'm actually accomplishing stuff I can be proud of and learning the things I want to be learning AND DOING THE STUFF I WANT TO DO.

It's because of the circus. Because we're performing next week(!), it's been really busy and super intense, and I've had to adjust to that kind of schedule. I cut out the buttshit (my new word for bullshit), started marking things on my calendar, setting alarms, responding to e-mails as soon as I can, prioritizing, actually doing work, etc.

However, what got me to write this post was the fact that I literally just learned about object-oriented programming (C++). I'd heard about it, but I didn't really learn what it did or would it could do. But now I (kind of) know., you are my hero. Who needs subpar professors when you can teach yourself and not be frustrated or bored?

Finally, in my last paragraph, I will explain to you the point of this post, and it is that when I get really excited about stuff, when I start reading a book I really enjoy or study a topic that really interests me, I get so excited that I have to stop. I'm so overjoyed by the fact that I found something I like, that I get all giddy and can't stay focused. Ironic, no? So anyway, I have to stop the lesson I'm on about encapsulation and have to go to bed because if I learn any more of this useful stuff, my brain will blow a fuse.

All my love,

Thursday, February 24, 2011

List #7

List #7
4 Songs 4 U

Also, today, I've had a few songs stuck in my head, and I want to share them with you.

Adele - Rolling in the Deep
Thanks, Mandi

Arcade Fire - We Used to Wait
Thanks, Kat

Animal Collective - In the Flowers
Thanks, Gabe

The Sound of Animals Fighting - Heretic
Thanks, Brandon

Today #22

Today #22
Oldies Make Me Grunt

Today, being the day I teach myself C++, I keep making small, strange noises in my room. I'll either stretch and make one of those stretch grunts, or think of something funny and halfway laugh which turns into a grunt, or halfway sigh that sounds like a grunt. Either way, I keep making all these grunting sounds, which to someone that wasn't looking might misinterpret as my having sex.

Also, this Pandora station I'm listening to was really good at first, but now it's playing oldies-sounding music. I hate the oldies. No matter how many times I click "dislike," it keeps giving me stuff that sounds like it was make previous to 2000.

Also, this being the 22nd Today #* post, I have left my three favorite sequential numbers in sign language. 20 looks like a chirping little bird, 21 looks like a shooting gun, and 22 is fun like all of the other 33-44-55-type numbers.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Post Scriptum #1

Post Scriptum #1
Bells and Joysticks

You know how I mentioned how much I loved Jamie Bell in List #1 (i.e. only posted a picture of him)? Well now he's in Eagle and everyone loves him. I CALLED HIM FIRST. Well, after everyone else that had seem him in Mr. Foe and all his other stuff, and in real life and stuff.

Also, I'm compiling a list of all the video games I've played. It's long, but not nearly long enough for a game designer in training. Too many RPG's and action-adventure games.

Today #21

Today #21
Rub Some Chalk On It

Today, being 2:22 in the morning, I should be asleep. However, the circus is two weeks away, another big creative project is supposed to be done in two weeks as well, I'm looking for an apartment, and I have to start applying for summer internships. There is much to be done. So many e-mails to write and schedules to coordinate. I hate schedules!!! I'm glad very little of it is school work. I have most of my motivation back. It's because I'm busy with stuff that I want to be doing.

But all of that is blah blah blah. What's REALLY important is that I went to Gymnastics Club today. It was excellent. I got three rips (when friction causes layers of skin on your hands to separate and then rip off in dime size chunks) and did so many push ups and chin ups that I can't use my biceps anymore. The only thing that would have made the night better would have been 5 minutes of splits each way. Oh, how I miss gymnastics. I ate one of the skin chunks and tacked the other two onto a cork board. It's tradition.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Today #20

Today #20
Meeting Escape

Today, being a Tuesday which means I don't have class, I had four meetings and they were great. (1) Mask-making meeting for circus (2) Uncommon fund meeting (3) Scav captains/lieutenants meeting (4) Story/script writing/development meeting for circus.

Also, yesterday, I downloaded the OST's (official soundtracks) to the first and second season of Carnivàle. Note, I downloaded them illegally using campus Internet. Oops. But they were direct downloads, so I think I'll be fine. I really only needed one song because I was thinking about using it for the circus.

Anyway, I just had a first listen through of the second soundtrack, and I kind of felt all these weird emotions. I don't know how to explain it really, but they felt like antique shops smell. Well, I'm sure not all antique shops smell the same, but what I imagine it being like is an old, conglomerate of smells that is wonderful but impossible to identify. I was mildly inspired, sorry, determined, longing, willful, and worried.

FYI, my last post was my 69th post.

I've been playing A TON of Room Escape games lately. Don't know what I'm talking about? Head to and find out what I mean. They're kind of shitty, BUT THEY'RE THE GREATEST!!! Aurora, Escape the Phonebooth, Room Escape, Office Escape on that site and have been my favorites. Seriously, I played them from about 10pm-5am the day before/of a midterm. However, I can rarely get through one without looking up a walkthrough. They're sometimes hard/annoying as barley!

Wish me luck on my ASL final in 9 hours. Given I usually sleep 10 hours, I'll probably be a little tired today.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Thoughts #7

Thoughts #7
Harper to Hull

I went to the library, and in that time I had all these thoughts:

My nose has been stuffed recently because I've been sick, but when it was outside it smelled like something. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I found it weird that the outside smelled. Usually, outside doesn't smell. It went on for so long I figured it must be my nose that smelled. I thought to myself, "My boogers must be moldy," but then it stopped when I got inside. I think it was a pseudo-sweet-bready-moldy smell.

While looking at the ground and walking forward, it felt like I was moving backwards. I wasn't sure why at first, but then I realized that, truly, the entire world was moving backwards. That's what happens when you walk forward: the world moves backwards. Then, it felt like I was walking in place and the world was moving past me, like a treadmill. It wasn't so bad when I looked up and in the distance. I think the only solution to this is for me to walk backwards to go anywhere, so that it feels like I'm actually moving in the positive direction.

The sensation I felt in my brain in the above paragraph gave me a similar sensation as to when I close my eyes while sitting in my desk chair. Sometimes, it feels like my head/consciousness is a about two feet above my body. Disembodiment?

The top of Hull Gate almost looks like a veve, or, at least, it has some similar characteristics. Incidentally, I've been obsessing a little bit over veves recently. Look them up; their these magical symbols used in voodoo.

Scenario #3
Bareback Flip

It is night time and a young man is walking on his college campus. He finds himself completely alone--no one in sight for as far as he can see. He takes off all his clothes as fast as he possibly can, does a backflip completely naked, puts his clothing back on, and then continues walking. Little does he know, someone is in their office sitting by the window and sees the whole thing. She thinks to herself, "Did that just happen?"

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Recipe #5

Recipe #5
Harry My Potter

First, before the recipes, I just want to talk about a few food related things.
The first: Popcorn is my favorite food. When I first realized it an said it out loud, I felt like I finally found my place in the world.
The second: I recently discovered another favorite: SUGAR WATER!!! It's delicious.
The third: I want to develop a recipe, and the recipe is Popcorn Pie.

Now on to the recipes. I made Harry Potter study break, and they were these:

Cauldron Cakes

First, make some chocolate cake batter, from a box or otherwise. I added cinnamon, cayenne, and ginger until it had a ever-so-slight kick.

Second, fill your cupcake tin, lined with those paper cups, until about half to two thirds full. Put a giant marshmallow in the middle.

Third, bake as you normally would bake cupcakes.

Fourth, remove from oven and allow to cool a little, then deflate and open the marshmallows to reveal a chasm within the cupcake. Allow to cool completely.

Fifth, make the filling. I made mine by getting a package of cream cheese and whipping it with a little bit of sugar with a electric whisk. When the cream cheese was fluffy, I added some whipping cream and continued to mix until it was the consistency I wanted. It was about one 8 oz package of cream cheese to maybe ½ cup to a cup of whipping cream. Then I added some neon food coloring and almond extract. Taste along the way to see if you need more sugar or flavoring.

Sixth, put the filling in a pastry bag and fill the holes of the cupcakes up.


First, make some butterscotch:

4 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 cup brown sugar
¾ cup whipping cream

1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tsp rum extract
½ tsp salt

Measure everything and set aside; this is a delicate process that you don't want to mess up.
In a saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter and then brown it if you want.
Add the brown sugar in all at once.
With a wooden spoon, stir every once in a while for about 5 to 10 minutes.
The consistency of the sugar will go from wet sand to grainy to smooth and consistent, like molasses.
Lower heat and switch to a wire whisk.
Add in cream all at once and stir until mixture settles down.
Continue to simmer for about 10 minutes, stirring every few minutes.
Remove from heat and allow to cool for a little bit.
Taste and add flavorings as desired.

Mix with cream soda and a little bit of cream until it's the flavor and consistency desired. It's nice if you either have it really warm or really cold; in the middle it's just not as good.

Recipe and instructions for butterscotch with slight modifications from

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Today #19

Today #19
Le Birthday Cake (of doom)

Today, being the birthday of Michelle and Lil Lil and Lexie almost, I have so many things to say. But mostly:

We were eating Michelle's birthday cake. But actually, first, Susan Art was just serving it to everyone. So everyone had a slice of Michelle's birthday carrot cake, and I was waiting for the birthday girl to take the first bite so I could eat the first bite. BUT! They ordered Potbelly's sandwiches, which I didn't eat because I don't like vegetables, so I didn't eat any lunch except for chits (chips), so I was hungry. So we had her cake, and I was waiting, but she wasn't eating any so I thought, "maybe she won't eat any at all," so I took a bit, BUT THEN SHE ATE SOME. I TOOK A BITE OF THE BIRTHDAY CAKE BEFORE THE BIRTHDAY GIRL and I feel soooooooo bad, and I'll always remember, because this isn't even the first time I've done it in the past few birthday I've been a part of. They take too fuckin' long to take a bite. So I took a bite first, because everyone else did first, and now I feel bad. Anyway, at Lexie's: (Nut)Meg and (N)athalie. (Nataly?)

(I luv eatting candy and cookies.) Also, (i luv the colur blue-magenta.)

THERE'S SO MUCH DRAMA IN THE 1500's and stuff.

Also, I finished 4 bags, almost 6, of candy today (2day) and 0 of them belonged to me. One of them was a GIANT STALE marshmallow, which is my favorite. WTF? I just wiped my harddrive and re-installed Ubuntu, and my spellcheck is on English, so it's telling me to spell it "favourite." Wrong. Wow, it's bed teimz now pls.

Also, my dream last night was cray-cray. I sobbed uncontrollably because of the evil mastermind sinister plot of an astrologist and sugar coated, slightly stale gummies.

WOAH, ALSO, my evil eye protected Ainsley <3

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Recently #5

Recently #5
Novi Amici

Being the new year, I thought I'd make some new friends.

Saturday, I made a new friend named Alphonz. He was feeling a little ill and probably doesn't remember what I look like. Monday, I made two more friends in my social science class. They can't keep their mouthes shut, but they should be gone by the weekend. Today, I reacquainted with the prince. He's sometimes a little intimidating to my other friends, so we might part ways again soon.

Dang, I'm not very good at this.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Miscellaneous #3

Miscellaneous #3

WAIT!! Magnets are the coolest things ever. Like, seriously.

A while ago, my brother John sent me this "magnetic putty," and it has been so incredibly fun to play with it.

Long story short, I was playing with the repulsive ends of magnets (S-S / N-N), and even after I was done, I still feel the strange but distinctive feeling in my fingers. You know what I'm taking about. THE FORCE FIELD ONE. Yeah, magnets are magic. And I want to make clothings that have magnets so I can always feel the repulsive force of magnets in my life.

Also, magnets should be spelled magnics, because that's what I kept typing.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Thoughts #6

Thoughts #6
There's Nothing Funny About Freedom

One: Why does funny exists? How are jokes actually something? I'm talking about at an evolutionary level here. What would be the benefit of humans finding puns entertaining? Is it just a byproduct of something else?

Two: Everything needs to be open source; the world be so much better. I guess I don't really know what I'm talking about--I'm sure a lot of people would lose money and probably their jobs--but I think information should be free (both as in beer and in liberty). This is why I like WikiLeaks so much. I know it's never going to happen, so a simpler request (which will also never happen) is that stupid companies like HP stop installing all this shit onto their products. I just got this external hard drive, and it keeps mounting this stupid virtual disk when I run Ubuntu, and I can't disable it.