Yesterday #5

Yesterday #5
Message for Terry

After a bit of trouble getting to bed one night, I felt it would be appropriate to sleep with my head at the foot of my bed. About 3:00 that morning, my phone rang. However it wasn't the gentle ring of my cell phone that woke me, it was the cacophonous ring of my dorm phone, normally reserved for telemarketers and the Chicago Tribune. I stumbled out of bed, picked up the receiver, and answered with my usual, "Hello, this is Nick." I heard someone speak, but because it was three in the morning, I was in no state to understand the English language. A conspiracy theorist would have called it alien communication. "Hello?" I asked again. Finally, I gathered enough sense to hear what this woman was saying.

"terry u so hott, i wanna go over there and have sex witchu."
"Excuse me?"
"im tellin u, u so hot."
"I think you have the wrong number."

She proceeds to tell me that she, in fact, does not. Apparently, I KNOW this girl. I know everything about her. In fact, I talk to this girl every day at work. I tell her that I don't have a job, I'm a student. She tells me, yeah, that's what she meant--we are in class together. Only, she won't tell me which class because then I'd know who she was. I point out to her that if we were to have sex, she'd have to tell me who she was anyway.

"u r disrespecting me! here i am, tellin u all these nice things and u wont even listen!"

Is this a prank call? It must be.

She honestly sounds hurt, like she's about to cry. I ask her how she got my number. She said her friend gave it to her. I ask her what time it is. She says it's one o'clock. I tell her my name isn't Terry. She tells me her friend said it was.

"Look, I'm flattered--really, it's so nice--but I'm gay."
"... thas cool. but please, ur hot. ill have sex witchu AND yo boyfrien."
"Oh, wow. You know that's great, but it doesn't really work like that. For me at least."
"PLEASE! ive wanted u for so long, and i didnt know how to tell you, and now ur being all rude and stuff."
"I'm not being rude! I don't even know who you are!"
"YOU KNOW! we talk to each other every day!"

I've decide it's time to go to bed.

"Okay, you know what? Why don't you say hi to me in class tomorrow and then we'll go out for coffee or something."

She seems to take that for an answer so I hang up. I crawl back into bed and decide to sleep the normal way because it really can't take any more strangeness. I'm ready to get in another three hours before All Day Dining when the phone rings again.

"Hello?"
"message for terry."
"I think you have the wrong number."