Monday, June 21, 2010

Today #15

Today #15
Edit #9

Today, being Midsmmers, I edited my entire blog. I went through every post and made some sort of change. Took out the shit. Edited the shit. Added the shit. It seems wrong in some way--editing your blog--but so does the smell of gasoline, but we still all steal a whiff. So does farting. And everybody farts.

Scenario #3

Scenario #3
Slappy Hands

Late and mostly forgotten. Here is the Swiss cheese of the story that is left.

I walk up to a boy to whom I have never once spoken and slap him across the face. Unfortunately for me, this boy's dad works for the IRS. The boy calls his dad at the IRS and says to him, "Dad. Some rando just slapped me across the face for no reason and now he won't apologize. You know what to do." In a matter of seconds, a fleet of helicopters fly over the dining hall we are in. They blow a hole in the ceiling with missiles, and a princess with a microphone descends from a rope latter and says to me, her hair blowing wildly in the helicopter's wake, "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! PUT YOUR SLAPPY HANDS IN THE AIR!" So I do.

I forget what happens after that, so I'll make it up now.

She then tells me to apologize, but I'm not sorry so I don't apologize. Instead, I run for the window and jump out, breaking through the glass and rolling onto the ground below. However, it's against the roles to throw anything out of a window, including yourself. So Jim Wessel the Administrator appears (he appears with magic because he is a magical wizard) (he is in a blue cloak and pointed hat) and says to me, "Nicholas, you can't throw anything out of a window, including yourself." So I get kicked out of housing. I take the Green Line to downtown Chicago and do handstands for money. However, I do the handstands for too long and burst all sorts of capillaries in my brain. This costs me the ability to pronounce my G's and also causes my left eye to blink at a rate of 40 blinks per minute. I make friends with a street musician who uses my left eye as a metronome, and with the money we make, I buy a indigo-purple sleeping bag and go to bed. I wake up hungry for the next few weeks day because I refuse to eat. Our only source of food is pigeons and I hate pigeons. So I starve to death. There is a beautiful sunset that day. The sky is golden, without red or orange or pink.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Thoughts #3

Thoughts #3

Be wild.
If a mountain lion were to come up to you, what sounds would you make to scare it away? Would you sound like a fool? I think so. That is why we all need to practice our wild faces and our wild noises but not our wild appetites. Those are too wild already. I plan on going into a field and practicing sometimes myself.

My cat Rhino ate a bat. I read the Internet, and we should get him checked for rabies. I know chances are low, but this could be really serious. Rabies are not funny. Nor is hoarding.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Nameless #2

Nameless #2
Freud Was an Idiot

It's about time for a Freudian slip.

Today #14

Today, being the same day as Nameless #2, there was a Freudian slip. It was when I called Miel (Navi and Zora's dog), Rhinoceros (who is my cat).

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Nameless #1

Nameless #1
No Name

Last post: Two months ago today.

Nothing to calm an uneasy mind like a thunderstorm. I've got to admit, I love thunderstorms in the Palouse, but here in Chicago they are so much bigger. Brighter lightning. Louder thunder. More of both in general. And earlier, the clouds were really pretty too, also on par with the Palouse sky.

PS: The sun was looking backwards on Sunday, and I told Pahlo and co., "Pahlo and co., you all are a big bunch of hoes. My mom says that when the light looks like this, the sun is looking backwards (like you do in doggie style), and it means it's going to rain tomorrow." And then they all chided me and said I was full of it. BUT THEN IT RAINED ON MONDAY. Like it is raining now. The sun looking backwards is my favorite thing ever.

I couldn't go to bed last night because ideas kept popping into my head. I would turn off the lights, try going to bed, and then I'd get another idea so I'd have to get up, turn on the lights, write down the idea, and repeat the whole process. For every thought. I ended up filling a notecard, and I will share it with you here.

Bread pudding [written in normal text and in Grade 1 Braille]
House trip: Piercer?
Learn to suspend myself on poles and posts [diagram included]
Circus + parkour workout group?
Circus on 2014 forum: Firespinners, Acrobats, Stiltwalkers
Links: staff, poi, Full moon J, how to make
(Art?) Project: Get to know a human being
Find and compile little facts about people
Profiles? Eye color (picture), handwriting (sample), skill (e.g. Braille), ...
Q&A 1st and 3rd Tuesday: Social, 2nd and 4th: Political
Movie Nite: Gremlins, Ferngully
Saw a firefly for the first time today--100x better than I ever imagined