Scenario #3

Scenario #3
Slappy Hands

Late and mostly forgotten. Here is the Swiss cheese of the story that is left.

I walk up to a boy to whom I have never once spoken and slap him across the face. Unfortunately for me, this boy's dad works for the IRS. The boy calls his dad at the IRS and says to him, "Dad. Some rando just slapped me across the face for no reason and now he won't apologize. You know what to do." In a matter of seconds, a fleet of helicopters fly over the dining hall we are in. They blow a hole in the ceiling with missiles, and a princess with a microphone descends from a rope latter and says to me, her hair blowing wildly in the helicopter's wake, "PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR! PUT YOUR SLAPPY HANDS IN THE AIR!" So I do.

I forget what happens after that, so I'll make it up now.

She then tells me to apologize, but I'm not sorry so I don't apologize. Instead, I run for the window and jump out, breaking through the glass and rolling onto the ground below. However, it's against the roles to throw anything out of a window, including yourself. So Jim Wessel the Administrator appears (he appears with magic because he is a magical wizard) (he is in a blue cloak and pointed hat) and says to me, "Nicholas, you can't throw anything out of a window, including yourself." So I get kicked out of housing. I take the Green Line to downtown Chicago and do handstands for money. However, I do the handstands for too long and burst all sorts of capillaries in my brain. This costs me the ability to pronounce my G's and also causes my left eye to blink at a rate of 40 blinks per minute. I make friends with a street musician who uses my left eye as a metronome, and with the money we make, I buy a indigo-purple sleeping bag and go to bed. I wake up hungry for the next few weeks day because I refuse to eat. Our only source of food is pigeons and I hate pigeons. So I starve to death. There is a beautiful sunset that day. The sky is golden, without red or orange or pink.