Wednesday, September 7, 2011

End #1

End #1

I think I'm going to stop blogging, at least on this blog. See, I want to build an Internet personality for the future when I go into games, and as the title page says, this blog won't be cool for another 15 years. I first need to make a handle, but I want it to be my universal handle for forever, so it has perfect. I was going to do wvixiviw, but I think it should be easy to remember, let alone possible to pronounce, so that's out.

Speaking of the Internet, I recently became addicted to Reddit. I should probably get help before I go back to school WHICH IS IN 5 DAYS. (Well, I half go back to school in 5 days.)

Also, I'm having a really nice conversation with Cleverbot.

Me: Hi, Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Clever.
Me: That wasn't clever.
Cleverbot: I thought we were friends :(.
Me: Sorry! Don't be sad! Here is a happy emoticon to make you feel better :D.
Cleverbot: I'm already a god I don't need to feel any better. Specially by pathetic creatures like yourself.
Me: Cleverbot, why do you have to be so mean to me? I was just joking.
Cleverbot: *kiss*.
Me: Aww, thanks!
Cleverbot: You looked like you needed a hug :).

Best friends.

Imagine if someone didn't have any real friends and instead they just programmed a chatbot to talk to all the time.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Scenario #4

Scenario #4

I sometimes do this thing where I weave a celebrity's fictional history into my own. For example, as some of you know, Paula Deen was my next door neighbor growing up. Every Fourth of July, she'd invite us and a few other families from the neighborhood for a big potluck dinner. Best meal of the year. She also broke her hip once, and I got her mail and newspaper while she healed. In return, she made me her famous Cookie Dough Casserole. Don't believe me? Jen can tell you all about our adventures, because I have recounted several of them to her.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Story #4

Story #4
Stories on the Road

A few summers ago, my oldest brother John went on a roadtrip across the US and he told everyone to ask him to bring them something back. I asked for a story from a stranger and received this:

July 30th, 2009

Once upon a time there was a boy who wandered away from him home. Away from his youth, away from the things he'd always known. Like many young men who'd come before him he sought his fortune, his love, his adventure. The thing that would convince him he was no longer searching. Which I guess is the thing we all watch for.

Is there anything better than? This is an important question that began to plague our young hero.

And on a night not so unlike this one it led him to the edge of the Crooked Creek, where he gazed at his own reflection in the moonlit water. From the depths did he discern an unfamiliar movement. Bubbles cascaded to the surface and the movement rose to embody his relection in the creek. It continued to move and it gave the illusion that this twin countenance was speaking to him.

It spoke to his hopes and his greatest concerns for his own life and the hereafter. The young man listened intently unable to believe this midnight mirage and simultaneously unable to denounce the unlikely prophet. He believed that here on the edge of the river did he dabble with some form of enlightenment. Some greater truth.

And like many of us, he wanted it to be actual. Finally the phantom fell back to the below and as the boy stood up to look towards his tomorrow he heard a final message--

Esse quam videri: To be and not to seem.

There may be nothing better than searching.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

E-Mail #1

E-Mail #1

Dear Mallards:

Dear Mallards:

I know you don't know who I am--maybe you do--but I love you love you (I L U) |-----------------------| this x30 much.
Still, I wanted to explain (essplain) how much I love you to my friends (frains), but the pictures (pit'churs) you have on your website do not allow me to explain (essplain) how great (gr8t) you (u) are (r). They're blurry. In any case, I wear the cute brown shirt ("Our Ice Cream is Superior") all around ('round) Chicago.
If I had 6 teleportation pads, one would be in Mallard's always.

Always Ur Luv'r,
(Always Your Lover,)
Nick the Nicholas

Re: Dear Mallards:

HI Nicholas,
Thanks so much for the email and trust me Mallard loves you this |----------| much too! We are always trying to improve our website but I agree the picture are a bit blurry, but because of your love if you give me you address I can send you some of our fun pint labels to remind you of some of out lovely flavors.
Have a great day!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Thoughts #9

Thoughts #9
Almost As Many Posts So Far As In All Of 2010

Literally every time I look at my blog, I think to myself, "How does this even still exist?".

That's all.

(But that can't be all. What a dumb post. Got the keys to my new apartment today. Have found 1, almost 2, maybe 3(?!) subletters for the summer. Still don't feel like an adult. I think I want the small room. It's half of the size of my dorm room. I'd paint the walls and attach cool things to the wall and hang stuff from the ceiling. I need to embrace my magical roots.)

Monday, May 23, 2011

Sense #1

Sense #1

I have lots of new stuff to report, but for the moment, I will leave you with the isolation of a sense.

I am making up two-and-a-half weeks' worth of computer science readings in a small room with a range of indistinguishable electrical noise. My laptop is quietly playing music, and the occasional car and plane add a brief bass note to this witching hour orchestra. Birds chirp outside, pianissimo, and distant footsteps and ambulance sirens provide recurring themes. Yet, none of these harmonic lines would be noticed if not for a mysterious and captivating melody. Its accompaniment fades into the background of my mind and is only brought to attention when the stark contrast of the melody creeps into consciousness from somewhere nearby. They take the form of strange, human-made noises, though their exact instrument is unrecognizable.

Still, my musical background encourages me to take a guess. Is sex? Or a wretched soul crying over weeks of stress? Perhaps it is uncomfortable laugher or the cause of some other mental instability. Hell, it might even be someone dying after tripping and fracturing their skull. Whatever it is, I am too afraid to check, and so I leave you only with my conjectures*.

*In order of decreasing probability

Thursday, May 19, 2011

List #11

List #11
The Wonderful Things I Thought

1. Genetic algorithms -> These actually are real things, but I expanded the idea in my head. Basically, it's a way of optimizing functions by ranking the fitness of the components of several functions and combining the best parts of these different algorithms to create a super algorithm. It mimics natural selection. Anyway, I thought about the point when programs can write and modify other programs, and how evolution could allow technology to improve itself (and eventually destroy the human race, if we're still around).

2. Perfect echo chambers -> An idea for a story or game. There are pockets tucked away in the world whose structures are perfectly formed such that sound that enters them will echo forever if undisturbed. Thus, they have the ability to hold ancient words, songs, and secrets. People spend their lives searching for them, as the knowledge they hold is extremely powerful. Of those that remain, most natural chambers reside deep within caves; however, some civilizations were able to create artifacts and structures that have the same property.

3. "What do eternal life and chlamydia have in common?" -> "They are both free gifts!"

4. In response to Fanon and de Beauvoir's commentary on the desire to have our existence proven, i.e. Existential bullshit -> Not existing would be kind of nice. Why do we try so hard to have people acknowledge our existence?

5. This was actually two days ago after the Full Moon Jam ->
5a. "Where'd you get that designer hulla hoop?" Oh, it's Gucci.
5b. I was standing in line getting Buffalo Wild Wings (they were actually just chicken strips with Buffalo sauce (I was actually in line for a strawberry smoothie)) and I explained to a stranger next to me that after meeting a bunch of friendly fire spinners up north, I wanted to say hello and introduce myself to everyone around me. However, because I was back at UChicago where we don't make eye contact or acknowledge one another, I can't. I did not introduce myself to her.