Thursday, August 27, 2009

Recipe #1

Recipe #1
Lemon-Lime Curd

Citation, blah blah blah.

Get 3 or 4 egg yolks, like after making meringue or something. Put them into a mixing bowl or the top part of a double boiler with the juice of one lemon and one lime. Put this the bowl or the double boiler top a saucepan filled with boiling water, set on medium-low heat setting; the bottom of the little pan shouldn't be touching the water, the steam provides the heat. Heat while stirring constantly to temper the egg yolk. If you heat it too fast, then the egg will cook, which is one of the most disgusting things in the world, next to Brendan's face. Add about 6 tablespoons of sugar--or, really, however much you'd like--one by one, letting the sugar dissolve after each addition. Finally, add 4 tablespoons of butter in pieces, again mixing until combined each time. Continue cooking until the curd thickens, but not too much since it further settles while cooling. When you pull a spoon through it, a trail showing the bottom of the bowl should appear for only a brief moment before being covered again by incoming curd. Put it through a strainer if you'd like.

You can use this curd for anything you'd like. I like using it as a sexual lubricant and as a facial cleanser at night, but I guess you could put it on toast or have it with cottage cheese (this was Jessica's idea--I hate cottage cheese). (Actually, I've never had cottage cheese.) It kind of just tastes like the stuff you buy from the store, only you can add more or less sugar and butter if you'd like. Or maybe add a little hot sauce or saliva to surprise a friend.

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