Crime and Punishment
After I become a biochemist, I will find a way to temporarily alter certain body parts and functions. Then, I will use this as a punishment for crimes. For example: If you're caught stealing something, you'll be punished with having enormous, sausage fingers for two months. For ugly graffiti, you will be re-engineered fart loudly and with a foul odor for a whole week. For driving under the influence, you will become lactose and gluten intolerant for a year. (This one is really bad because I think drinking under the influence is one of the worst things to do ever.) If you're already lactose and gluten intolerant, you will just have really runny poop every third month. Lots of leakage.
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