Miscellaneous #1

Miscellaneous #1

Replacement

(Words) Thants you for the chi'en strits an' sudary snats. Oots, I forgot natkins. You're out of natkins?!? S MY PEEN!

(Location) Ugh! It's 8:00 in the evening. I leave for Chicago at 3:00 in the morning tomorrow. I haven't started packing.

(Fate) Four soul mates for one summer isn't too many. It's just the way it is. You can't change the cards! It just happens! Learn about soul mates! YIHO.

(Goals) Teaching and brain research? F that S. Video games and bartending.

Today #18

Today #18

11:11

Today, being September 1st, 2010, is exactly one year, one month, one week, and one day from my 21st birthday. Hopefully I will wake up with a surprise in my room. Surprises may include: a murder of crows, a pack of Skittles, a slutty ghost, my first ex-soulmate, giant walking cookies, a rainbow bridge to North Dakota, or one thousand billion dollar bills and cargo pants with big pockets. Also, it was just 11:11. (Or 23:11.)

List #6

List #6
The Seven Dwarves

Stinky
Poopie
Sneezy
Scaby (like scabies)
Scrapie (like the disease)
Scrappy
Harlot

Opera #3

Opera #3

New and Improved

I guess these aren't operas, they're just songs. I just started doing this thing where I replace a word for something random. These are my golden babies:

This little sponge of mine;
I'm gonna let it shine.
This little sponge of mine;
I'm gonna let it shine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vnei94grw8k

The jigsaw shack is a little old place

where we can get together

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leohcvmf8kM

The Internet is for pron
The Internet is for pron
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YRgNOyCnbqg

Don't cha wish your trollop* was just like me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riodgm3u4H4

These pretzel illusions are in my head
Did not let me down when I was a kid
And parting with them
Is like parting with a childhood best friend
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGJaKeYwOFo

Bean, beans, the magical fruit
The more you masturbate, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel

Let's have beans for every meal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psiPK07sXsY

California girls, we're unforgettable

Daisy dukes, potatoes on top

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kelUCEcdO8M

I wanna be a poopy bear so fuckin' bad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aRor905cCw

Freedom
Ketchup
Freedom
Ketchup

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlHUauwdv4k (ish)

Rainbow Brite

Rainbow Brite

One a penny, two a penny

Rainbow Brite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICiYe_CRnpg

My BAPS, my BAPS

My lovely lady BAPS

Check it out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRmYfVCH2UA

*Incidentally, trollop is my new favorite word

Today #17

Today #17

Cheeri-O's

Today, being the last day of August, I'm going to share the thoughts I've been too lazy to post these last few weeks. I guess I'm kind of like an orgasm in that way. I just come out in spurts. That's disgusting. I can't believe I just said that. Want to know what else is like an orgasm? Juanita's tortilla chips. I could eat those all day.

Idea #1

Idea #1

Crime and Punishment

After I become a biochemist, I will find a way to temporarily alter certain body parts and functions. Then, I will use this as a punishment for crimes. For example: If you're caught stealing something, you'll be punished with having enormous, sausage fingers for two months. For ugly graffiti, you will be re-engineered fart loudly and with a foul odor for a whole week. For driving under the influence, you will become lactose and gluten intolerant for a year. (This one is really bad because I think drinking under the influence is one of the worst things to do ever.) If you're already lactose and gluten intolerant, you will just have really runny poop every third month. Lots of leakage.

Recipe #3

Recipe #3

Pesto Rolls

Dough (adapted from the Moscow Food Co-op website)

1 1/4 cups water

1 cup of milk

1 tbsp honey

1/2 tbsp yeast

2 tsp salt

1 tbsp melted butter

5 1/2 cups flour

Put the milk and water in a heatproof bowl or measuring cup and heat in the microwave until very warm to the touch. Pour into a bowl and add yeast and honey. Stir until yeast is dissolved and let sit for about five minutes, or not. Add the salt and the butter, stir. Add flour and mix until combined. Remove from bowl and place on floured surface. Kneed for five to ten minutes, adding flour as you go. Don't add too much, as most people do--the dough should be very soft and moist, but should not stick to your hand when squeezed. Don't make it too dry! Place into bowl and cover. Let sit for ten minutes to an hour or longer, depending on how much you want. You don't even have to let it rise if you don't have time, you just won't have as much dough.

Pesto (adapted from the book, Pestos!)

2 cups fresh basil

2 cloves garlic or more

1/4 cup pine nuts

1/2 cup parmesan cheese

1/4 cup olive oil

salt and pepper

water

Put all ingredients into a food processor and chop until it's a fine paste. Add water until paste is the consistency you want. Taste and adjust ingredients as needed.

Pesto Rolls

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Line two baking sheets with wax paper. Roll out dough into a large rectangle on floored surface, about 9 inches by 13 inches or how ever big you want. Spread the pesto all over, like you would spread the cinnamon all over cinnamon rolls. Top the pesto with some more parmesan cheese. Roll up the rectangle of dough like you would a jelly roll (or cinnamon rolls). Cut and place on baking sheets. Sprinkle a little cheese on top if you want. Bake for about 25-30 minutes, until the tops are starting to brown. Remove and let cool. THEN DEVOUR!!!!